hello from the american dance festival at duke university in north carolina =]

It's been a week since I've been here. It's nice to dance again. Even though I complain that I'm sore or exhausted sometimes I forget how much I love it. It's about 90 degrees out today, crazy hot. but every building you enter you freeze your butt off so i guess that makes up for it haha. I'm living with a cute lady named cindy, she's super nice! I'm very glad to say that Ursula is on this trip along with 4 other fabulous slippery rockans. It's been a great experience so far. I'm taking a modern class, hip hop class, repertory with Ursula, dance notation, and pilates. And we can also take other classes that are only offered once or twice. It's neat and it's all so different which is exactly what I need. We also get to see so many performances while were here, which is pretty much the best part ( besides the 20 minute intermissions haha) I walk to campus every day so I get my exercise! I hope to come back a completely improved body, mind, and soul =] I can't wait.

Here's something we had to write in Rep about a passion of ours. I just wanted to post it cause I like it and want to remember it!

Personal Statement:

"My little sister has brought out the best of me, the worst of me, and all of me. She has taken me on a journey through life & has provided me with the strength to continue on. My love for her transforms into my passion for dance. It gives me the light to see the depths of a compassionate soul. Without her I would be only a mere fragment & all true love would be lost."

Seniors 2010

Today is graduation.. Not my graduation but some of my best friends are graduating. I'm excited for them but deeply upset. I can't express how much I'm going to miss them. However, true friends will always be there... I've come to learn that in the hardest ways but it's true. I just can't believe it's come so fast. One more year and I will be sitting in those chairs in that ugly cap and gown next to all of my favorite people being the one saying good bye and heading out to the "real world". and yes... I'm scared. Not of the world, but of myself. Scared that I don't have the drive or what it takes to make it. And I've met some of the greatest people here that I really don't feel like losing anytime soon. I need them. =[ But I am excited to see what they accomplish. I just hope they don't forget about me along the way.

Here's to...

...Great friends

.... The fabulous four

...Ginger Hill

...Teena Custer

....SRUDT

...Hoops and YoYo

....Britney Spears

...21st birthdays

....Spring Break

...The adventures of Jeck and Dar

....Puzzles

...shots and mixed drinks

....dominos pizza

...Thanksgiving dinner

....The old but mostly the new

...dressing up for halloween

....Heely's

...The zoo

....Boys

...Random adventures

..Mario Cart

....Noel

...Eggs && cars

..Step Brothers

...Rumple Mintz

....Sigma Rho Delta

...Natalie Desch && Doug Varone

.. Formal 2009

...The Gym

...Tanning

...Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Looking forward to..

...Great friends

....My sister

..Walking the puggle

....Teaching

..My girls

....Illadelph

...SRUDT

..Boys

....The route 6 diner

...My best friends wedding

...Hann + westminster

....Graduation

..Living life

....The adventures of jeck and dar

....Teena Custer

...Hoops and Yo Yo

....Seniors 2010

...The Fabulous Four

....Random Adventures

..Fun in the Sun

.... Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Sometimes reality seems better then the movies.

So I've had a lot going on lately. School seems to be taking over my life. Not that I mind because it keeps me busy, there just isn't enough time in a day to accomplish everything I would like to. And being involved in the Doug Varone piece doesn't help however I thoroughly enjoy the dance so I'm not complaining. It just seems others aren't considerate of the fact. Oh well. 

So my best friend of 5 years is getting married in June. I'm quite happy that she found someone that cares about her and her kids. She really deserves it. And she might be moving to Germany because he's in the military and is going to be stationed there. I'm pretty sad about it. I mean I haven't really been able to talk to her or hang out with her as much so I guess it's kinda prepared me for her move to Germany (if she choses to do so) I just realized a lot of things and can't really express it. I'm just not allowed, in more ways then one. I don't know if these feelings are okay or if I shouldn't be feeling this way. It kinda stinks. 

Anyways.. I get to go home for Easter. I'm excited to get away from school and see my babygirl =] and color eggs of course. 

Bitch Blog

Well I seem to never have anything good to say so this is my bitch blog haha. Not only because I'm ganna bitch but because what I'm bitching about is others bitching at me. =] Well I can never seem to do anything I wanna do. There's always some sort of conflict with EVERYTHING. My friends wedding is the same weekend as my other friends miss pennsylvania pageant. So I told my one friend I probably couldn't go to the pageant because of my other friends wedding because I knew about the wedding first. PLUS the wedding is pretty much a once in a life time deal and im in it. AND I've gone to her Miss PA pageants the past 2 summers and it's not that I don't want to go it's that I cant so she doesn't understand and told me I was being a horrible friend lately because basically I've been busy with rehearsals and TONS of work. And I also might not be able to make it to her musical because of the doug varone residency so it's like I can never do anything but then again the things I want to do I can't because everyone is so self absorbed and don't really care that I want to try and better myself and my career by doing all of this dance stuff. So what can I do?! nothing pretty much.

Wow. that was a lot. Another thing is I really don't know if I CAN be a b-girl. I mean I want to so bad && I know if I want something bad enough I can do it.. but really I don't know if I can. I mean it took Teena Marie 8 years to get as good as she is now. I just don't know if I'm that patient with myself to do it. She's super women && I'm just plain old Jenn Meckley ( as said by Ursula =] ))

On a good note. I went to a Britney Spears concert last night. It's been my life long dream! seriously, I've been obsessed with her since her first CD came out and have every single one of her CDs. she put on an amazing show. i totally felt like a little kid haha. I loved it. I wanna go to another. Here's some pictures.

pussy cat dolls the line my babies

the arena  BRITNEY! breakin it down!

they cut her in half!  boys. so pretty =]

FIRE!

The cure and the cause.

"When I say I love you It's not because I want you or can't have you it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are what you do & how you try. I've see your kindness and strength, the best and worst of you"

Out of place.

Lately I've been feeling a little "out of place". yes, I know, I do like to keep to myself at times and I have been doing a lot of homework and what not. I just feel like I'm always the last to know something, especially in my own apartment. No one comes to hang with me like they do everyone else... I even go out in the living room, sit and watch tv, and do work.. and no one comes and hangs out with me... but they do with everyone else. There's no point in even bringing it up cause it's pointless and just stupid.. but hey that's how I feel. 

Also, I can't seem to do the things I WANT to do.. because of money and because everything seems to always conflict.. maybe it's a sign.. i believe in signs 100% but still. I want to go to ADF so bad.. but it's just so expensive and if I do get this dorm counselor position I still have my best friends wedding that I am apart of that is during that time. and then there's Illadelph which I really really want to do also. I'm just sick of everything conflicting and just not being able to do anything without problems. 

I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It used to be my FAVORITE show.. I think it still is. Somehow I wish I could be a vampire slayer, save the world from all it's non-sense and kick ass oh and have sex with a vampire. ; ) haha kidding but I think in another life ( where vampires do exist ) I will be a slayer.. Jenn Meck the Vampire Slayer. 

So, when I have kids.. I'll name my girl Buffy.