the adventures of Jenn Meck. yo

hello from the american dance festival at duke university in north carolina =]

2009-06-19T07:47:00.001-07:00

It's been a week since I've been here. It's nice to dance again. Even though I complain that I'm sore or exhausted sometimes I forget how much I love it. It's about 90 degrees out today, crazy hot. but every building you enter you freeze your butt off so i guess that makes up for it haha. I'm living with a cute lady named cindy, she's super nice! I'm very glad to say that Ursula is on this trip along with 4 other fabulous slippery rockans. It's been a great experience so far. I'm taking a modern class, hip hop class, repertory with Ursula, dance notation, and pilates. And we can also take other classes that are only offered once or twice. It's neat and it's all so different which is exactly what I need. We also get to see so many performances while were here, which is pretty much the best part ( besides the 20 minute intermissions haha) I walk to campus every day so I get my exercise! I hope to come back a completely improved body, mind, and soul =] I can't wait.

Here's something we had to write in Rep about a passion of ours. I just wanted to post it cause I like it and want to remember it!

Personal Statement:

"My little sister has brought out the best of me, the worst of me, and all of me. She has taken me on a journey through life & has provided me with the strength to continue on. My love for her transforms into my passion for dance. It gives me the light to see the depths of a compassionate soul. Without her I would be only a mere fragment & all true love would be lost."

Seniors 2010

2009-05-02T07:16:00.001-07:00

Today is graduation.. Not my graduation but some of my best friends are graduating. I'm excited for them but deeply upset. I can't express how much I'm going to miss them. However, true friends will always be there... I've come to learn that in the hardest ways but it's true. I just can't believe it's come so fast. One more year and I will be sitting in those chairs in that ugly cap and gown next to all of my favorite people being the one saying good bye and heading out to the "real world". and yes... I'm scared. Not of the world, but of myself. Scared that I don't have the drive or what it takes to make it. And I've met some of the greatest people here that I really don't feel like losing anytime soon. I need them. =[ But I am excited to see what they accomplish. I just hope they don't forget about me along the way.

Here's to...

2009-04-22T21:14:00.000-07:00

...Great friends

.... The fabulous four

...Ginger Hill

...Teena Custer

....SRUDT

...Hoops and YoYo

....Britney Spears

...21st birthdays

....Spring Break

...The adventures of Jeck and Dar

....Puzzles

...shots and mixed drinks

....dominos pizza

...Thanksgiving dinner

....The old but mostly the new

...dressing up for halloween

....Heely's

...The zoo

....Boys

...Random adventures

..Mario Cart

....Noel

...Eggs && cars

..Step Brothers

...Rumple Mintz

....Sigma Rho Delta

...Natalie Desch && Doug Varone

.. Formal 2009

...The Gym

...Tanning

...Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Looking forward to..

...Great friends

....My sister

..Walking the puggle

....Teaching

..My girls

....Illadelph

...SRUDT

..Boys

....The route 6 diner

...My best friends wedding

...Hann + westminster

....Graduation

..Living life

....The adventures of jeck and dar

....Teena Custer

...Hoops and Yo Yo

....Seniors 2010

...The Fabulous Four

....Random Adventures

..Fun in the Sun

.... Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Sometimes reality seems better then the movies.

2009-04-08T21:55:00.000-07:00

So I've had a lot going on lately. School seems to be taking over my life. Not that I mind because it keeps me busy, there just isn't enough time in a day to accomplish everything I would like to. And being involved in the Doug Varone piece doesn't help however I thoroughly enjoy the dance so I'm not complaining. It just seems others aren't considerate of the fact. Oh well.

So my best friend of 5 years is getting married in June. I'm quite happy that she found someone that cares about her and her kids. She really deserves it. And she might be moving to Germany because he's in the military and is going to be stationed there. I'm pretty sad about it. I mean I haven't really been able to talk to her or hang out with her as much so I guess it's kinda prepared me for her move to Germany (if she choses to do so) I just realized a lot of things and can't really express it. I'm just not allowed, in more ways then one. I don't know if these feelings are okay or if I shouldn't be feeling this way. It kinda stinks.

Anyways.. I get to go home for Easter. I'm excited to get away from school and see my babygirl =] and color eggs of course.

Bitch Blog

2009-03-28T17:13:00.001-07:00

Well I seem to never have anything good to say so this is my bitch blog haha. Not only because I'm ganna bitch but because what I'm bitching about is others bitching at me. =] Well I can never seem to do anything I wanna do. There's always some sort of conflict with EVERYTHING. My friends wedding is the same weekend as my other friends miss pennsylvania pageant. So I told my one friend I probably couldn't go to the pageant because of my other friends wedding because I knew about the wedding first. PLUS the wedding is pretty much a once in a life time deal and im in it. AND I've gone to her Miss PA pageants the past 2 summers and it's not that I don't want to go it's that I cant so she doesn't understand and told me I was being a horrible friend lately because basically I've been busy with rehearsals and TONS of work. And I also might not be able to make it to her musical because of the doug varone residency so it's like I can never do anything but then again the things I want to do I can't because everyone is so self absorbed and don't really care that I want to try and better myself and my career by doing all of this dance stuff. So what can I do?! nothing pretty much.

Wow. that was a lot. Another thing is I really don't know if I CAN be a b-girl. I mean I want to so bad && I know if I want something bad enough I can do it.. but really I don't know if I can. I mean it took Teena Marie 8 years to get as good as she is now. I just don't know if I'm that patient with myself to do it. She's super women && I'm just plain old Jenn Meckley ( as said by Ursula =] ))

On a good note. I went to a Britney Spears concert last night. It's been my life long dream! seriously, I've been obsessed with her since her first CD came out and have every single one of her CDs. she put on an amazing show. i totally felt like a little kid haha. I loved it. I wanna go to another. Here's some pictures.

pussy cat dolls the line my babies

the arena BRITNEY! breakin it down!

they cut her in half! boys. so pretty =]

FIRE!

The cure and the cause.

2009-03-21T09:47:00.001-07:00

"When I say I love you It's not because I want you or can't have you it has nothing to do with me. I love what you are what you do & how you try. I've see your kindness and strength, the best and worst of you"

Out of place.

2009-03-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been feeling a little "out of place". yes, I know, I do like to keep to myself at times and I have been doing a lot of homework and what not. I just feel like I'm always the last to know something, especially in my own apartment. No one comes to hang with me like they do everyone else... I even go out in the living room, sit and watch tv, and do work.. and no one comes and hangs out with me... but they do with everyone else. There's no point in even bringing it up cause it's pointless and just stupid.. but hey that's how I feel.

Also, I can't seem to do the things I WANT to do.. because of money and because everything seems to always conflict.. maybe it's a sign.. i believe in signs 100% but still. I want to go to ADF so bad.. but it's just so expensive and if I do get this dorm counselor position I still have my best friends wedding that I am apart of that is during that time. and then there's Illadelph which I really really want to do also. I'm just sick of everything conflicting and just not being able to do anything without problems.

I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It used to be my FAVORITE show.. I think it still is. Somehow I wish I could be a vampire slayer, save the world from all it's non-sense and kick ass oh and have sex with a vampire. ; ) haha kidding but I think in another life ( where vampires do exist ) I will be a slayer.. Jenn Meck the Vampire Slayer.

So, when I have kids.. I'll name my girl Buffy.

When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies.

2009-03-06T19:48:00.000-08:00

For the first time in my life I know exactly what I wanna do and be when I grow up. When someone asks me what I plan on doing after college I can tell them instead of saying "oh I don't know yet". This past year has been a big one. I've figured out who my TRUE friends are, how to deal with myself, dealing with family situations, and finally figuring out my passion. Of course I want to dance, I honestly want to be a break dancer, a "hip hopper" && I will.

Now I just need to figure out them damn boys ;)
But I do like one... (( no one names because people know him haha )) I guess I just need to know if he likes me too. *sighs*

back to the drawing board night hawk =]

By popular demand.

2009-02-20T20:14:00.000-08:00

Here's something I wrote.. nothing special... i have several but here it is.

Those vicious words may not seem so harsh but the piercing sound of your voice is what makes one feel this pain. It's shocking how those painful words can make one's hear feel so empty and make your stomach churn till you feel as though you can not even move. How does one deal with this time and time again when all you want is to feel the importance that that certain someone portrays to you. Is it real or is it something they feel is needed to say in order to feel that security of someone. We always try to see the brighter side of things but what if in this case, no brighter side exists and all that is left is darkness. In the dark the truth comes out. They think you don't discover that it is them but you know. you have always known. So what now? How do you begin to deal with it when you know you can not live without but living with is only making you weaker. There will always be that wonder in the back of your mind trying to figure out how one of "great importance and love" can use such vicious words.

Money Money Money

2009-02-17T20:03:00.001-08:00

Ugh.. i am so frustrated with the word money. No matter what I do and how much I save I just never have any money. I try to do things for myself and buy what I want when I want ( to an extent) but then if I do I am unable to basically live. I need a job. One that I can maintain as a dance major, it's just so hard. Hopefully they are hiring CAs at the Ivy or maybe Nora will need someone to replace steph in the office. Idk but all I know is if I don't get a job and don't get a scholarship for ADF I won't be going. Luckily I talked to Teena and there is a really good hip hop intensive in Philly this summer. The only dilemma is It's the last week of ADF so I need to decide which one I would rather do. ADF is a great opportunity BUT ( there's always a but ) I loooooove doing hip hop, it just makes me feel so good.. really, I enjoy it so much. So I guess what I'm going to do is see if I get a scholarship or even the dorm counselor for ADF && if I don't then I'll be headed to Philly. I was also thinking about doing the Pittsburgh intensive that I did last year. I mean it's free and they even feed you! haha.. we'll see.

No modern tomorrow. YES!

Valentines Day

2009-02-12T17:23:00.000-08:00

I've decided valentines day shouldn't be a day...

What gives them a right to dedicate a day to give people the opportunity to show their significant other that they love them sooo soo much?! You should show your significant other that you love them so so much EVERY DAY not just february 14th. This is just a day to remind people like myself ( single people ) that we have no one to receive flowers or chocolates from, no one to take us out to dinner, or even get that very special ring one desires. True love isn't celebrated on February 14th it's celebrated on those random days that your hunni decides to send you flowers because you had a bad day or to tell you how beautiful you are puking over the toilet cause you got so drunk, or when they just tell you how much they love and want to be with you... Valentines day is over rated... that is true love

&& I want it =[

Sixteen Years

2009-02-05T07:41:00.000-08:00

Sixteen years ago... i was just a normal (( kinda weird and nerdy)) 5 year old. I was doing my own hair cause my mom would always make me cry, I liked to play with barbies, and wear cute little dresses with stockings. Then my sister was born. I never realized how much of challange it would be and my mom didn't really know what we were getting ourselves into. A lot of doctor visits, hospital stays, worrying, and just a bunch of loving. I guess you could say I had to grow up pretty fast. I had to learn to help take care of another human being. How to feed, nurture, and comfort someone other than myself, someone who couldn't do them on their own. You never realize the kind of bond two people can create just by doing some of these things together. but you know what?! I wouldn't change any of that for the world. This amazing little girl has taught me so much. For instance, the word retard. People use it uncontrollably and don't realize what they're really saying. Yeah they may not mean it of it's true meaning but it can affend and hurt so many people, like myself. Or how to just laugh at myself and at the world. And most importantly how to care for and love someone more than I ever could myself. Gosh, I think I cry more than she does when her hip pops out of place or when she has seizures constantly, you'd think after 16 years I'd be used to it by now, but I'm not and don't think I ever will be. It's true when some people say "when you cry I cry, when you're in pain I'm in pain" I truely feel the same way. The only one human being who has ever been there for me when life gets rough or when I just need a laugh. So... the point of this blog.. HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY TO MY PRECIOUS LITTLE SISTER MISS ALI! I love her more than anything in this God for saken world.

Time for a change.

2009-01-28T18:06:00.000-08:00

Of one with perseverance

Of one who is limitless

Of one who is optimistic

Of one with confidence in themselves and others

Of one with someone to love them as much as they love them

Of one who has accomplished

Of one who is adored

Of one who is adventurous and random

Of one who is artistic

Of one who follows their dreams

Of one who is unashamed

Of one who is determined

Of the situation

Of her

Of them

Of the fact

I am jealous

I'm sick of doing the things I do and thinking the way I do... I don't know how to change it. But these are the things I thrive to be or do. I don't want to hurt anyone or myself anymore...

One year anniversary...

2009-01-24T07:32:00.000-08:00

...of my black eye

I love Katie Kelly =]

The Life of a 21 year old.

2009-01-20T13:01:00.000-08:00

The crazy birthday weekend is finally over and I must say I had a blast.

My new favorite drink = hello kitty. chyeah.

Now that I had fun, it's time to work my ass off for this concert. Shouldn't be too bad except I can't breath. ( literally)

&& the whole rob and i think was shot to hell. We just didn't mesh well. maybe next time.

Also, I'm sick of my stupidness. If you know me you know what I'm talking about.Ugh.

I'm going to Jazz well Hip hop. I'm excited.. haven't seen Miss Teena Marie since I got back.

Here are some crazy ASS pictures. Check it =]

Finally Legal.

2009-01-13T20:21:00.000-08:00

So it's officially my birthday.. i thought i would be cliche and stay up till midnight just so i could see how it feels to be 21. Pretty exciting, now I am ready for bed... haha. I tell ya my friends are just incredible, i really can't get over it. Anyways.. I am pretty excited for my first night at the bar =] woot woot. But I have realized I'm finally an adult, ick. However I do believe I have learned a lot this past year and I have grown a great deal. Even though my heart and soul is that of a ten year old, My mind is that of a 21 year old. YES!

My grandmother gave me a little ballerina music jewelry box when i was home for my birthday and in it she had a note that said "Open on January 14, 2009". So cute. I just wanted to share what it says because my grandma is the sweetest lady.

"to Jennifer

When you turned 16 I wrote you a note. With all the health problems I had at that time, I didn't know if i'd be here for your 21st birthday. But here I am...pen in hand and "words of wisdom" to give!

No preaching, just two things I want you to remember.

Don't ever drink and drive.

Don't ever let anyone talk you into drinking more than you can handle.

I want you to have a long happy life. You're my one and only grand daughter and you're very special to me.

Love,

Grandma"

*tear*

Survival of the first day back to modern =]

2009-01-12T13:36:00.000-08:00

Well first day of class..

9 am. - woman and aging.. My teacher is nuts i just can't get over it.. maybe even nuttier then ursula but in a strange way.. but seems like it'll be an easy class.

10:35 am. - Dance Composition II with the one the only Noooora. Not much to say about this class except i have no idea what my prop piece is going to be but should be another simple class just like lma and comp I.

2:00 pm - Modern. and let me tell ya i was scared to death that she was going to kill us. It's hard to tell what she's going to do but she decided to take it easy and I'm glad. I think we just need to ease into everything since we know none of us danced over break {{ oopsie }}. However I am extremely fed up with people who cheat their way through everything. There are some of us who work our asses off and actually earn what we get but then there are others who beg their way and push authority to get what they want. whatever =] OH yeah and she suggested to write in a journal about stuff we need to work on and successes we've had well being the first day back not much to say but i feel like my core is in tact i hope it stays that way!

Overall it was a good day. I was happy to see some faces and others not so much. We checked out the new and improved dining hall which was packed but once we got inside it was nice.

I am currently waiting for my rep class 5:30-8 im sure ( well hoping) that we don't stay the whole time cause then I have rehearsal 8-9:30.

P. S. I have a male friend.. his name is Robb.. && he made me dinner last night ( hamburger helper) maybe one day he'll make me lasagna or something =]

The Rock.

2009-01-11T10:32:00.001-08:00

I arrived back in good ol'e snowy slippery rock yesterday. Let me tell ya it was a loooong drive. So much snow. But I am glad I made it, it's good to see the faces of my favorites again =]. This first week back is going to be a doozy. But I honestly can't wait to get back into the jist of things ( something i never though i would say ). what can I say I love to dance and I love my friends! Anyways... I unpacked last night in a good amount of time... I also tried to get rid of things and make some extra space. It always makes me feel better doing that =]. Although I am psyched about being back I miss my family an awful lot. Ugh and one thing i did not miss are the massive sounds of men feet above me. Welcome back =]

L is for the way you look at me

2009-01-03T19:57:00.000-08:00

I've been hanging out with this guy rob since I've been home on break we've been talking for quite a while he's in the military (( I know I know )) well he's coming home on leave this next week.... Shouldn't I be overly excited since I may have feelings for this boy? I don't get it he makes me smile a lot and he likes me too. I used to get so excited to see josh even when I just saw him the day before maybe its because I had a previous history with him but I just feel like that relationship took everything I had and I don't have any fire left in me. Way to put out the fire josh. I just want to move on and be happy with it. Okay?

ready for the new year

2009-01-01T20:42:00.000-08:00

2008 has been a big one for me. I've learned so much about what I want and who my real friends are. I have actually become more comfortable with myself, I can sit at home by myself and not always have to be around someone because I can enjoy my company. -- I have also realized how I should be treated in means of friends and how I should treat them and what a real friendship is. I have the best friends in the world and have realized that even though I may be alone in the room I still have people who care for me and love me greatly. They are what I'm thankful for. When I was in high school I was so scared to go off to college and lose my friends but there are only 2 people I talk to from high school and the ones who are around are the only true ones I am so happy I was able to meet the best friend I have now and I know they will be with me forever. So my new years resolution is to work on myself and my selfesteem and to also have a better outlook on life and the future to concentrate on the future and to not dwell on the past. Oh and maybe drop a few pounds and tone up at bit ;) hears to 2009.

home sweet home?

2008-12-27T11:58:00.000-08:00

I can't wait to go back to school I'm sick of being home.Mom complains that no one ever wants to spend time with her when everytime I ask her to go shopping go to the movies she always ditches me or just doesn't "feel like going" and even when I want to watch a movie àt home she's "too tired" I even had to force her to just go out to eat with me. So then when she "feels like it" or has time and asks me to do something and I already have plans she gets mad and cries and throws a guilt trip on us and mind u its not that I don't want to go or don't feel like it I just already have plans. I'm just don't with it. Miss ali agrees :) however I really can't wait for my 21st birthday and I get to spend it with my favorite people in the world!

11:11

2008-12-23T20:11:00.001-08:00

Make a wish.

Why do people feel the need to rush into relationships, to use those 3 powerful words so delicately? To me the word love is something you say when you actually mean it. Yeah, I get it, in high school it's the "thing to do" and I did the same but now I even see people older then i am just toss the word "love" around like it has no real meaning. At times I feel as though i'm never going to find anyone i'm never going to fall in love and have the chance to build a family, but i don't just jump into something with someone i go on one date with or hang out a few times. Love is a journey and takes time to grow and blossom. And frankly I cannot wait for it =]

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

2008-12-22T20:10:00.000-08:00

and it's about that time where people begin to ask you "what do you want for christmas?" ...well... i would looooove a brand new closet full of clothes, some b-girl gear, a video camera, a 2009 pink mini cooper with a drop top, or and maybe even a wii. well truth is my family really can't afford anything of that... but honestly i'm sick of materialistic things what i really want is for my mom not to have to worry whether she can pay the bills or how about for my sister to not have to deal with her hip popping out of place all the time or going into a seizure every 5 minutes. She goes through so much and yet is the happiest little girl. I think i get more upset when she has a seizure then she is. I wish i could give her the world. I miss my friends... I just can't stand to be home for more then a few days.. my mom drives me nuts sometimes.. and my little brother can be such a brat. The 21st birthday is coming up.. i'm pretty excited yet kinda bummed. It's fun breaking the law ;) haha.. To end on a happy note I can't wait to be a b-girl =]

blogspot virgin

2008-12-20T20:02:00.000-08:00

Yes, its my first time... Here on blogspot. I had a blog at xanga but I needed a change and this seems to be the happening place. Currently on the blackberry so I was unable to pick a template. Gay. Well its a start I guess. However I'm an old lady who needs her rest or else she's a big grouch so I'm off to dream land can't wait to make the big bucks in the morning. I hope you caught the sarcasm ;)